num8 (num8) wrote,
num8
num8

  • Mood:
okay been told to my post right now instead of tomorrow,..


so the story, trust it or not.

When I said I was going to die, lot's of things were going on, didn't wanted all that attention,..
I went on a small trip with the few money I had left, telling I was going to die, like, from a cancer. Why ? Because I wanted to end my life and I didn't wanted people to interfer. I've spent few days at a friend place. Then Codydawg and Keenora invited me over, and thought why not as I still had money. Spent a few days there but the words spreaded faster than I though, and things started to move around.
I got caught in my own lies. I shoudl have said stop but didn't found the courage to do so. That's where I blame myself.
Everythings went so fast and I was just not clear in my mind thinking everyday how I should kill myself and days went on.

Everyone have been so awesome and nice. You still saved my life, trust or not

And when I finaly got alone again, leaving timduru's house I watched trains after trains, and I couldn't do it. Ashamed of me I finaly got in a train and went to the foreign legion, got engaged passed the test, and hurted myself and got kicked. I was in the middle of marseille got drunk and called my sister.


For Kurwasuka, I was missing you quiet heavely, but couldn't get back as numeight and I lied over and over again. You know the rest.


I DO NOT ASK FOR FORGIVENESS IT'S UNFORGATABLE. I'm aware of it. I failed you all.
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